courage my love.........

i have been "retired" for exactly one week now. hmmmmmmm. i can amuse myself quite well, that is not the problem. i am feeling a tad isolated. all my friends work, so most days it's just been me and the dog.
i need to get out and meet people who are at loose ends during the day, and therein lies the problem. i'm shy.
don't laugh! you know it's true. when you first met me, who started the conversation? you did! once someone gets the ball rolling, i'm fine, but don't ask me to start it up. can't be done.
meeting new people scares me, i avoid social situations because of it. it's not that i care if they like me or not, it's just the initial encounter. my mouth gets dry, i have an urgent need for a cigarette (which these days is social suicide). i would rather be dropped into the pits of hell than be the first one to say hello. so i come off as a snob or (sometimes rightly so) a bitch.
since the world is not lining up at my door.........
today i am going to talk to a stranger. never mind that my mother drilled into me that you NEVER talk to strangers, today is the day i initiate a conversation.
does talking to the bank teller count?